Sh sh should we?




People think she is older than she is-- 
partly because she is a little tall for her age, but mostly because of how smart she is.  
I know what you are thinking: 
"Every Grandparent thinks their grandchild is a genius!"  
You are right, they do.  BUT Wee one is one of the smartest little people I have ever met!  I know there are way more gifted babes out there in the world, but like I said…I have never met one.  Seriously.  

One of the things that makes her abnormal is the fact that she understands, and has understood, concepts that I should be trying to teach her. For example: hot vs. warm vs. cold.  She knows the difference.  
She will even say, "this is a little too hot, can we make it warm?"  
She knows up from down, in from out.
She can draw W's, make circles, and put her own shoes on.
She uses full sentences.  The longest I have counted was around 12 words!


Crazy stuff  for a wee one that isn't even 2 yet! 
Don't get me wrong, she isn't one of those kids that can recite all 50 states, or that knows every letter of the alphabet.  
And she doesn't always say exactly what she means, for example (These are a few of my favorites…)
'Should we take her boots off now?'  (Meaning, "Should we take my boots off now?"  Everything is "Should we."  I love it!  
'Should we take a bath now?'
'Should we go outside now?'  LOVE IT!  

                                            She is soooo cute!

It was so sad to listen to her (but so stinking adorable, too!) recently when she went from using just a few words in a sentence to the longer sentences.  
She would stutter as the first word or two came out as she was trying to put the rest of the sentence together in her head….
 
"Should, should, should, should we read a book now?"
"I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not go to bed yet."
 


Her little eyes close and her head tilts to the side as she repeats the first word over and over AND THEN she opens her eyes and finishes her sentence.
                                                   OH MY GOSH!
At first I was concerned that this might be a speech problem, so I watched her closely and figured out that it was just the jump in the number of words she was trying to spit out.  Her little mouth wasn't ready to keep up with her brain! The stuttering lasted for a few weeks and then slowly disappeared, showing up just occasionally now.

I don't take any credit for how advanced Wee one is other than the fact that we do read to her A LOT, and we have never been big on baby talk.
We just talk to her like we would talk to each other.

It actually kind of scares me that she is so bright.  

Her Momma was almost as advanced as her at this age.  
BM (Birth Momma…Remember?) said her first word at 6 months old that wasn't momma or dada- it was bear.  That's not the amazing part- the amazing part was that she KNEW WHAT A BEAR WAS! We would show her different things and she wouldn't respond, show her the bear and she would get excited and say "Bear!  Bear!'  (Yes, we actually have it video taped and have had to show people that this story is true)

BM was talking in short sentences at 1, just like Wee one.  

The scary thing is that BM tested as MENSA level gifted when she was older- 
but how'd that work out for her?  
                                 Not good so far.  
She has always thought that she was soo much smarter than everyone else; her parents, her teachers, her doctors. 

Soooo… I will just share with you how smart I think Wee one is (and not let her read this blog.) I will just keep telling her how loving and kind she is, and keep the focus on her heart… 

Resources, Links and Helpful Insights



RESOURCES , LINKS, AND HELPFUL INSIGHTS

I am a research freak.  When we first got physical custody of Willow I started researching every possible thing I coud about Grandparents raising Grandchildren. At first it was the legal aspect.  It was so hard not having legal custody, knowing that at anytime one of her birth parents, neither sober nor sane at the time, could come in and just take her away.

Now that we have full legal custody my searches have changed.
I am very concerned with the emotional and psychological issues associated with grandparents raising grandchildren.  
Believe it or not, I have found there is very little 
information on this topic.
I want to know the best way to help Wee One feel loved and secure.
I want to know how to explain to her why  she is being raised by us instead of BM and BF.
I want to do everything I can to give this little love 
every advantagefor a happy and productive life.
So.... Hopefully some of these will make your research a little easier.
I wish there was more
 beneficial information here, but it is a start.
I will continue to post what I find that might be of 
interest or of help to someone. 

Hey!  Did you know...
More than 1 million grandparents are taking on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren?  You may feel like you are alone in this journey-- but you are not!! We need to support and encourage each other!



SITES FOR GRANDPARENTS RAISING GRANDKIDS
  • STATE FACT SHEETS - AARPEach state fact sheet includes state-specific data and helpful links such as:
    -Census Data
    -Local programs and resources
    -Foster care policies and Services
    -Public benefits and financial assistance
    -State laws 


Please don't look at me that way.



I guess I have always been a pretty open minded person.
  
Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of being judgmental, "holier than thou", and moments when I should be tugging at the log in my own eye instead of pointing out the twig in theirs.  
But I have been through a lot in my life and I know that on days when I am not at my best because of some trauma (or drama??) or pain that has presented itself, I appreciate the grace that the smile a person I have been crabby with gives.  

Since my kids were little, when they would complain to me about how mean a teacher had been, or how rude a friend was being, 
I would say, 
                      "Well, maybe their dog died." 
Now you may be asking yourself, why would she say that?  
Let me put it simply for you....
                            Life is hard, and life just happens.  
Yep.  That's all I have for you, but it pretty much sums it up, right?

You never know if that lady that cuts in front of you in line at the store is just distracted because she recently found out she was losing her job, 

or the person that loses their temper with you over something that seems silly has a husband that was just diagnosed with cancer, 

or the teacher that is being short tempered has just had to put her dog to sleep after 15 years...  you just never know.  
                           Life is hard, and life just happens....to all of us.  

I need this grace more than anyone.
             
I am often wrapped up in my own little world, worried and and overwhelmed, just trying to make it through the day.  
I may not notice that I cut in front of you--  I'm sorry.  
I may not even notice you at all.  
                                        I am sorry. 
          
My head is busy trying to rationalize what my heart is feeling, and sometimes that takes all I have.

This is not an excuse for rude people, what it is 
              is an excuse for people that don't mean to be rude.  
We all have our moments, so please, smile at the man that frowns at you, pray for that teacher that has been losing her temper, and try to remember...
                I don't mean to be rude- It's just that  life is hard, and sometimes it just happens.  


little lady - a wee bit.


Willow and Mac www.notsosimplyme.com

Auntie DoDo calls Willow Little Lady.  The other afternoon Willow is eating her snack and decides to share with Mac, our Bernese Mountain Dog.  Mac gets a little excited and nips a little too hard when grabbing his snack from Willow, so Willow says, "No Mac! No hurt Little Lady!"  (21 months old)

Willow and mac www.notsosimplyme.com



The Feel of Cancer


Keith with our four children after brain surgery.


No matter how deep you bury it, it never completely goes away.  
I'm not talking about the memories of the person, I'm talking about the memories of the cancer.  
Jess and i went to see a movie last night titled 50/50.  
It started off a little uncomfortably with some foul language and uncomfortable scenes, but then it got really good.  

We laughed, we cried... then we cried some more.

Jessie and I were some of the last to be sitting in the theater after the movie ended, both of us with our eyes still wet, staring straight ahead at the screen.
  
Keith is often in my thoughts.  When I look at one of the kids and see his smile, when I look at Tanner and he is raising his eyebrows just like his dad used to... When I have flashes into the past that  a photo, a place, or a song has sparked.  These are the good thoughts, the good memories...the ones that make you warm, and happy.

Some of the scenes in the movie made me feel like I was right back in the moment... Sitting with Keith when we found out that he had cancer.   
The way the 
                world starts spinning, 
and the words being spoken become muted.
  
The way you walk through your days in a fog, barely feeling, yet feeling it all. And I wasn't the one with cancer- I was just the one who loved the one with cancer.  

My whole world started spinning again as I watched this movie.  

The shaving of the head because having some control over when he lost his hair mattered, the time over the toilet after chemo...wishing there was something I could do to help take away the pain, to take away the sickness...the times when the doctor said, "The treatment isn't working...the cancer is spreading."  These are the bad moments-- the memories you try to bury.
  
You can't explain that feeling to someone who has never experienced it, and you hope they will never know what you don't want to, 
       or can't, 
explain.  
It is a place you wish you could forget that you had been, but you never, ever can.  Especially when you watch movies like this.

I still wonder if it is a good thing or a bad thing to bring those memories to the surface.  Maybe they help me remember how precious life is, how precious the time with my loved ones is.  Or maybe they just take me back to a place I never wanted to visit in the first place... either way, it's time to bury it all again for now...It's just easier that way.



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